Food Allergy Hero of the Month: Jessica Carrillo
I still remember what it felt like to be the girl with the peanut allergy. I remember meeting my teacher days before school started, back when afternoons felt long and lazy, and I was missing my two front teeth. Each year, my mom and I gathered up some oranges and expired epi pens and taught my new elementary school teachers how to use the epi pen. Life was not always easy back then, but it felt predictable. I really thought life would always feel the same when it came to food allergies. But having now gone through schooling all the way to my college graduation last year - I can tell you one thing: food allergy life is ever changing. And while this may seem intimidating - especially for new allergy parents or teens just learning how to be independent - I have learned that while challenging times may come, we are strong enough to adapt and adjust as we go. And thankfully, not all the changes are bad.
My First Food Allergy
I was diagnosed with a peanut allergy when I was two years old. My mom tells me that she had worried I might have a sensitivity to peanuts long before I was diagnosed. While my mom doesn’t have food allergies, she has a ton of environmental allergies, so she understood allergies in general. She had heard about food allergies at a time when they were not talked about as much. So, when I developed a small bump on my wrist after being introduced to peanut butter, my mom decided to keep me clear of it. Later after a noticeable (accidental exposure) reaction, I got the proper diagnosis of a peanut allergy.
All I have known my whole life is life with food allergies. I can’t really say when my allergy really developed, but based on the stories, it seems I was just sensitive right away. I grew up learning how to read the word “peanut” in English and Spanish before any other word. While I did struggle with reading when I was little, that ingredient stuck out to me like it was about six fonts bigger than everything else. Today, I feel like I could instantly pick out the word peanut in a sea of letters. I’ve been looking for it since I was small.
Developing New Food Allergies
One of the biggest shocks of my life was learning the hard way that I could develop new allergies after living for years with just one. The years between age eleven and twenty were some of the most difficult of my life, as I struggled to understand and predict why my body was developing new allergies and what might be next. Nobody told me that I could develop new allergies. When I was about ten years old, I was told that my peanut numbers had gone down quite a lot. Doctors were floating around the idea that by age twelve I might even outgrow the allergy all together. When I found myself using the epi pen for the very first time at eleven years old because I ate walnuts straight from a tree, I was traumatized. I was supposed to outgrow my allergy…not gain new ones…
While I avoided peanuts for all my life at that point, I did eat tree nuts. I loved eating handfuls of almonds and pistachios all the time. I was stunned when I tested allergic to tree nuts not long after my reaction. My allergist simply said, “Yah sometimes this happens.”
Later, in my late teens and early twenties, I started to react to even more foods. Wheat, legumes, seeds, and raw fruits and veggies. I watched as slowly my allergy list grew, seemingly for no reason. I still don’t know why this happened, especially to things that I already commonly ate. It would seem as though my body just likes developing food allergies. I, however, have not been the biggest fan!
The Anxiety of it All
Adjusting to life after my first anaphylactic reaction was so much for me in my tween years. I became terribly scared of food. I lost weight. I became underweight. I was afraid to go to sleep at night for fear my body might react out of nowhere. During all this, I transitioned from elementary school to middle school. At a time when I felt most vulnerable to the world from my allergies, I had to learn how to handle them by myself. It took a lot of therapy, a lot of baked goods, and time for me to feel safe in the world again. This truly painful period of my life was so challenging and dark for me.
When I found myself going through it again years later, I was again quite scared. In some ways though, it was a little bit easier. I knew what happened when I used the epi pen. I knew how to give myself the epi pen and what medications that the doctors in the hospital would give me. I knew I needed to spend time focusing on my mental health. And the second time around I had two things that I didn’t have the first time: my food allergy Instagram and the Southern California Food Allergy Institute.
Going Through Treatment at the Food Allergy Institute
I am a current patient at the Food Allergy Institute (FAI) in Southern California and have been for three and a half years. In that time, I have successfully introduced most tree nuts, a couple seeds, and several legumes into my diet safely with FAI’s Tolerance Induction Program (TIP). This was done through very small introductions in the clinic, a dosing cycle done at home, and then a food challenge at the clinic. I’m eating a total of 18 allergens thanks to FAI, nearly all of them freely. I can once more eat handfuls of cashews and pistachios if I want, and I will have no reaction whatsoever. I am currently working through peanuts, which feels so full circle - considering it was my original food allergy that started it all.
I was never the type of person to actively seek out treatment for my food allergies, so the fact that I am even doing this treatment is still so wild to me. When I was younger, I was always far too afraid of my allergens to face them in the way I do now – eating them every single day. It wasn’t until I started my food allergy Instagram and blog “Nut Free Mentality” that I even heard of FAI. Just before the cutoff age of 21, I heard about TIP on Instagram. I was skeptical at first that such a program could really work. In so many ways, TIP offers me everything I’ve ever dreamed about: a life of food freedom. It felt too good to be true. But I heard about FAI right when I was being hit with constant itching and likely new allergies. I was desperate and took a leap of faith by putting myself on the waitlist. And I am so thankful that I did.
TIP, while it can be a bit intimidating given my trauma surrounding my allergens, has given me a sense of safety that I haven’t felt before in my life. Even with just the peanut allergy, I worried about every surface that I touched and every person who came close to me. Now, I feel like I go out into the world each day just a little bit safer. I have gone through so many of my allergens so far, that I know that at the very least, a small exposure will be okay. This is opening a whole new world to me. And that’s not even mentioning that one day I will eat anything I want. I can’t wait to live a life free of my food allergies one day.
Finding Love with Allergies
I think I will always be a bit of a hopeless romantic at heart. While I did initially struggle to read when I was small, I swear it was like one day I just decided to be good at reading and it took off for me. I remember picking up a magic tree house chapter book one day in first grade, and from that point on, I started reading books meant for a reading level three or four times my own. I partially blame my love for reading for my own struggles with love. As a tween and young teen, I wanted to find a boyfriend so badly. I wanted to be romanced the way the characters in my books were. I was crushed when I found out what kind of roadblocks that seemed to come from my food allergies. It felt like yet again, my allergies were making things harder for me.
There was a time I genuinely thought that I would never find someone who would like me. I watched the other girls in my class go on their first dates while I was told by my crushes that my allergies “just seemed like too much work.” I thought this was going to be my reality forever, but ultimately, it was not.
I eventually went on a couple different dates in my late teens. I learned that above all else, telling my dates early on was important. While it was still considered a little embarrassing at the time, I found new people on dating apps and felt a little safer disclosing my allergies in a texting format before dates.
I found my boyfriend through online dating. He has cats, and pretty eyes, and he wore a tie on our first date. And much to my surprise, he also had food allergies. I found this out when we were communicating about our first date. I asked if we could go to a certain restaurant as it was safe for me and my food allergies. I mentioned that I needed to be careful about my allergens and would appreciate it if he would avoid them that day. He was happy to do so, and then mentioned he too has a food allergy. From dating my boyfriend, I’ve learned that there are good people willing to date someone with food allergies. People who will treat you well and not make you feel bad about your allergies. These people are worth waiting for.
What I’ve Learned so Far
I think the most important part about living with food allergies is understanding that each new season of life can bring new challenges and discoveries. The initial diagnosis of a food allergy results in a learning curve. Even though I’ve had a peanut allergy all my life, I still found the introduction of each new allergy somewhat tricky. Learning to gain independence can be another new challenge. The teen years can be a lot for those of us with food allergies as we learn to manage our condition on our own while balancing school and social lives. But I think that despite the challenges that come with each new phase, it teaches you a lot about your own adaptability and inner strength.
In a recent session with my therapist, she commented, “You had to learn that your body was fragile and needed to be protected – while other kids your age were still eating dirt. That’s a lot for such a young mind.” And she’s right.
Growing up with food allergies has not been easy, but I think that to go back in time and erase my food allergies in my childhood would erase so much of who I am today. Food allergies have taught me how to stay calm in tough situations. They have taught me about trauma and how to grow around it. Thanks to my food allergies, I have learned so much about who the right people are for me, and I love those people dearly. Food allergy life looks different for everybody, and I don’t think there’s one right way to go about things. While I think my life would have been easier without my food allergies, I am thankful for what they have taught me. And I know that I can handle whatever comes my way in the next phases of my food allergy life.
